CHALLENGES IN LIVING
TOGETHER AS COMMUNITY
and The Fruit of Forgiveness
We are a sinful people, and we hurt each other
with or without intent, especially those close to
us; that is why God wants us to forgive and
reconcile with one another. But it is extremely
difficult to forgive. We need to get out of our
comfort zone and talk with people if we have been
offended. We need to give up our self-pity and
pride. We need to give up our desire for justice
and revenge. We need to release people from being
unforgiven. It is just so easy to sweep the issues
under the carpet - until one day it will just
haunt us and burst unexpectedly. But if we
forgive, we experience reconciliation, love,
freedom, joy, and restoration of relationships. We
release ourselves from the bondage of anger and
resentment. We stop clinging to the past and live
in the present. More importantly, we stop damaging
ourselves. Are you willing to pay the cost of
forgiving to enjoy its fruits? It is well worth
how often will my brother sin
against me, and I forgive him? As
many as seven times?" Jesus said
to him, "I do not say to you seven
times, but seventy-seven times."
Matthew 18:21b-22 ESV
So How Do You
Forgive Others and Move On In
Other Scripture passages:
at your past – are there any backlog of
unresolved anger or grudges against
anyone, especially those close to you? It
might involve people who have already
passed away or those who you are not in
contact with anymore. You need to look at
the different stages of your life and see
if you had any resentment against anyone.
You need to release them from the heart
and surrender them to God. Forgiveness is
a decision, and you can forgive even if
you do not feel like forgiving.
- If the issues are with those who are close
to you – spouses, family, and close friends -
you need to deal with the issues on hand.
Ideally, you should ask them to ask
forgiveness from you – and then forgive them.
If they make excuses and justify their side,
you should still be ready to forgive them from
the heart and release them from your anger or
hatred. Ask God for the grace to forgive from
- Look also at your life and see if you have
hurt or offended anyone – and ask forgiveness
from those you have hurt. Do not justify or
make excuses – ask forgiveness to them. Accept
responsibility and be humble. A true apology
does not make excuses. Offer and make
restitution if needed to reconcile fully with
- Deal with the issues directly. Do not share
to lots of people who can do nothing about it.
The symptoms of anger and being hurt will go
away slowly once the issues have been
- Small hurts can build up and can explode one
day. Try to deal with and diffuse those small
hurts, so they do not build up. Practice
forgiving and asking for forgiveness daily,
especially with those close to you.
- Forgiveness has the power to heal, but it
may take time for the healing to complete. It
is like a wound that needs time to mend.
Forgiveness and healing can be a process. Be
willing to last it out.
with a trusted person if you need help and
guidance in dealing with forgiveness.
personal reflection or
Love is patient and kind; love does not
envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful. [1 Corinthians
all bitterness and wrath and anger and
clamour and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Be kind to one
another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, as God in Christ forgave you. [Ephesians
references: Matthew 6:14-15; Ephesians
4:26; 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16.
easy is it for you to forgive and ask for
forgiveness? Are you convinced of its
you living a spiritually debt-free life?
If not, what do you need to do about it?
Caballes is the
Administrator and a
of the Lamb
of God, a
community of the
Sword of the Spirit
with 7 branches
New Zealand. Tom
also leads Kairos
outreach program for
his wife Mhel and
daughters live in