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Our Biggest
Problem Is Our Heroism
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by Sam Williamson
On my twelfth birthday, I received four birthday
cards, each with a personal message. My
grandfather, my parents, my oldest brother, and an
elder at church each took time to pray for me, and
each of them wrote something remarkably similar.
They said, “When I prayed for you, I sensed God
say, ‘You are to listen to God’s people and to
speak to God’s people.’”
I immediately figured God wanted me to a
missionary. So I read biographies of Hudson
Taylor, Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, and Amy
Carmichael. I wanted to be like them. In
university I studied Intellectual History to
understand modern thinking, and I took classes in
Hebrew and Greek.
My first “job” out of university was working in
Europe, reaching university students and building
Christian communities. I was doing exactly what I
always dreamed to do.
One day, in a normal, everyday prayer time, the
tiniest thought flashed through my mind. I felt
God whisper, “Not now! If you continue to do
mission work, you will create an Ishmael.”
How Could My
Serving God Be Wrong?
God promised Abraham that he would be
the father of God’s people, and from those
offspring would come one who would save the world
from the twisted corruption in our lives. And
then, for decades, the sun came up, the sun went
down, and nothing seemed to happen. No kids.
It is very easy to imagine dinner conversations
between Abraham and Sarah. Did I hear God? Why
is he waiting so long? Now we’re too old to have
children. Maybe he doesn’t want us to be so
passive.
Their plot to use servant Hagar as a surrogate
mother would have made perfect sense. It was
acceptable in their world, and they’d be helping
God bring about goodness in the world.
Our desire to do great things for God is the
biggest hindrance to intimacy with him. It’s why:
- Abraham and Sarah birthed Ishmael;
- Moses murdered the Egyptian;
- And Saul built a monument to his own honor.
We think of our service to God as our sacrifice
for his glory; but God wants our lives not our
sacrifices, he wants our hearts not our heroism.
He Needs Our
Poverty Not Our Strength
Something in every human soul wants
to play the hero. Why else are superhero movies so
popular today? We imagine risking our lives to
slay the Terminator, destroy Sauron’s ring, battle
Voldemort, or unmask Darth Vader.
But these heroic self-images are just prettied up
pharisaism’s; Look at us, doing great things
for God! He needs more leading actors like us!
But the thing is, he doesn’t. As someone once
said, “God created the world out of emptiness, and
as long as we are empty, He can make something out
of us.”
God does want our service to him, and our
longing for glorious valor only hinders his great
work in our lives. It is not what we do for him
that counts, not nearly as much as what he himself
does through us. And that is a very different
matter indeed. It was not the boldness of Moses
God wanted but his meekness.
Thirty-six years ago (after hearing God say to me,
“Not now”) I left the mission field. I
entered the business world where I made multiple
mistakes, stumbled, and fell; I felt I was no
longer useful to God. It was at that point, ten
years ago—when my inadequacy to serve God was
most apparent—it was then that God whispered to me
in an ordinary prayer time, “Now!”
Do you know what my life is today? I listen to
God’s people and I speak to them. But the path to
today was storms, droughts, struggles,
disappointments, mistakes, and suffering. He
doesn’t need our gallantry as much as a heart that
finally cries, “Uncle!” It is what He does
through us that counts.
God wants our poverty more than our heroism. Our
greatest need is need.
Sam
Sam Williamson has published
numerous articles and has written two books.
He has a blog site, www.beliefsoftheheart.com,
and can be reached at
Sam@BeliefsoftheHeart.com.
Hearing
God in Conversation: How to Recognize
His Voice Everywhere, by Samuel C.
Williamson, published by Kregel
Publications, 2016, available from Amazon
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