May 2012 - Vol. 60

Journey of Self-discovery in Christ
by Glenna Schleusner

Before coming to Detroit to do a Kairos Gap year of service, I donít think I was aware of  just how little I trusted my own instincts and abilities. I knew I was afraid of failure, because I was afraid of making mistakes and making people angry with me, but I hadnít realized how that had led me to assume that everyone else knows better than me.

Since my arrival in Detroit and the beginning of my service with YouthWorks-Detroit, God has been teaching me that he didnít make a mistake with me. Heís equipped me with gifts and abilities, and when Iím asked to step out of my comfort zone, heís right beside me taking that step with me.

Itís been a journey of small steps: planning Bezalel Project lessons Ė  first with a friend and now more by myself Ė for our after school program for elementary school age youth ; teaching at Bezalel; giving a talk at a retreat for the Cornerstone School kids; and writing and giving a four to five minute speech in Kairos Gap training (okay, maybe that one wasnít a small step). Even things like cooking a meal once a week and learning to drive a stick-shift car have been used by God to teach me confidence.

It sounds horribly cheesy to say that so far my Kairos Gap year has been a journey of self-discovery, but in some ways thatís the truth. Only itís not so much a journey of self-discovery as it is a journey of discovering myself in Christ.

Every time Iíve reached out to God, afraid of whatever task Iíve been given, heís been there to give me strength and courage. And thatís where my new confidence really comes from; not just a realization that I have more gifts and better instincts than I thought, but that the God who gave me those gifts and instincts is there to help me use them.

I know thereís still a lot of spiritual growth ahead for me. One of the other things Godís done this year is show me more of my rough, unpolished edges. Instead of being afraid of the challenges ahead, though, I can welcome them with confidence, knowing that Iím not alone, that Jesus is with me every step of the way.

[Glenna Schleusner is from Lansing, Michigan, USA and a member of the Work of Christ Community in Lansing.]

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