Growing in
Our Love for Our Brothers and Sister in
Christ
“Be imitators
of God, beloved children. Walk in love, as
Christ loved us
and gave himself up for us, a fragrant
offering and sacrifice.”
– Ephesians 5:1-2
by
Don Schwager
We learn to
love through imitation of God
What does the Apostle Paul mean when he says,
“imitate God” and “walk in love as Christ loved
us” (Ephesians 5:1,2)? When
God made a covenant with the people of Israel on
Mount Sinai, he revealed the nature of his
covenant love to Moses when he declared,
“The LORD,
the LORD, a God
merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and
abounding in mercy and faithfulness, keeping
merciful love for thousands” (Exodus
34:6-7).
God's plan from the
beginning of creation was to have a people
created in his image and likeness who would be
united with him in a bond of love and unity.
Paul the Apostle tells us
that God chose us in Christ before the
foundation of the world... and He
destined us in love to be his sons [and
daughters] through Jesus Christ. according to
the purpose of his will, to the praise of his
glorious grace which he freely bestowed on us
in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:4,5).
Through Jesus’ atoning
sacrifice on the cross we have been reconciled
with the Father in heaven and have received
adoption as children of God. The Lord Jesus has
won freedom for us over sin and has sealed us
with his Holy Spirit. We are now free to walk in
love as he has loved us (Galatians 5:1,13). As
God’s beloved children, his sons and daughters,
we are called to imitate God in his character –
in his steadfast love, kindness, mercy,
faithfulness, and forgiving-heart.
Loving
others as God loves us, choosing to do what is
(morally) good and to reject what is evil,
turning away from falsehood, deceit, and lies
and living according to the truth as God reveals
it to us – this is what it means to imitate God
and to be like him in his image.
The
nature of Christian love
Christian love –
the love which Christ has taught us – is costly
and sacrificial. Paul says that Jesus “gave
himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2). His
whole life and ministry was an offering of love
to the Father in humble service and love for his
“brethren” – the brothers and sisters he called
to be his disciples. That is why Paul describes
Jesus’ love as a “fragrant offering and pleasing
sacrifice” (Ephesians 5:2).
The Lord Jesus
puts us first in his love and care. Although he
was King and Lord by right, he willingly became
a lowly and humble servant for our sake. He
proved God’s love for us by washing his
disciples’ feet and by freely laying down his
own life out of merciful love for us.
We love one
another as Jesus has loved us
Christian love – the love
of Christ – supercedes and surpasses the Old
Covenant commandment to “Love your neighbor as
yourself”.
Jesus gave his disciples a new
commandment – “that you love one another as I
have loved you” (John 13:34). Jesus sets the new
standard of love – a love that is willing to
sacrifice everything – including one’s own life
– for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Jesus is our model who
shows us how we are to love as he has loved us.
His love for us is wholly (entirely) directed
towards our good – our welfare. This
is the true meaning of love – a love that is
outwardly focused and wholly directed towards
the good of the other person.
God’s Love is
a supernatural gift
that transforms our ability to love others
How is such love possible?
What appears to be impossible on the human level
now becomes possible through what the Lord Jesus
does in and through us by the gift and working
of the Holy Spirit. Paul tells us that “God’s
love has been poured into our hearts through the
gift of the Spirit which has been given to us”
(Romans 5:5).
God’s love is a
supernatural gift freely given to us. Like any
spiritual gift given by God, this gift of love
must be exercised if it is to grow and mature in
us. This gift of supernatural love doesn’t
replace our human love – it transforms our human
ability to love others freely and
whole-heartedly for their good.
“Through
love be servants of one another”
The Holy Spirit purifies our hearts – out
thoughts, intentions, attitudes, and
inclinations – so we can freely choose to love
others as Jesus himself has loved us. Paul the
Apostle tells us that “Christ has set us free”
from slavery to sin and selfishness (Galatians
5:1) – so “Do not use your freedom as an
opportunity for the flesh, but through love be
servants of one another” (Galatians 5:13).
The
gift of Christian love
True Christian love is not a sentiment, feeling,
or good intention alone - it is the deliberate
and free decision of the heart that motivates
and impels us to do what is good, right,
merciful, and kind – even when we do not “feel
like doing so” or when we face obstacles and
difficulties that stand in the way of showing
love, mercy, kindness, and goodness.
Love
is a supernatural virtue
that strengthens us in relating well
to others
The love which God pours into our hearts through
the gift of the Holy Spirit is a supernatural
virtue (a Christian character trait) which
strengthens us in loving God as the supreme good
whom we love above all else. This supernatural
virtue of love also enables us to love other
people – especially our brothers and sisters in
Christ as well as all the people we relate with,
including our enemies – with heart-felt kindness
and charity (doing good for their benefit
without any expectation of payment or return in
kind), with goodness, patience, and mercy
(forgiving them from the heart and not holding
on to any ill-feelings or resentments).
We can choose to do a kind
deed from time to time, especially after someone
has been kind and good to us. But the virtues go
further because they strengthen us in habitually
doing good for others regardless of how they may
treat us.
Why we
need to grow in virtue
Virtues are good habits of heart (based on a
personal choice and a decision) that incline us
to do what is good, especially in the face of
challenges, difficulties, and obstacles that try
to hinder us from choosing and doing what is
right and good. The
more it becomes a habit the easier it is to do
in a regular and ongoing way.
Vices are the opposite of
virtues. Vices are disordered and bad habits of
the heart that incline us to do what is wrong,
hurtful, or harmful for others as well as for
ourselves. Bad
and sinful habits are not easy to break – they
can be mastered and overcome with God’s
supernatural grace and help and through the
support and encouragement of others, especially
our brothers and sisters in Christ who also seek
to grow in holiness and righteousness.
Christian
love is rooted in truth and moral
goodness
The virtue of Christian love is rooted in truth
and moral goodness (righteousness). Love
without truth inclines to mere flattery and
false praise. Truth without love inclines to
harshness and
legalism. Christian love is wholly
oriented to seeking the good of the other
person. It is servant-hearted love because it
takes its eyes off oneself in order to focus on
how one can serve the best interests and welfare
of others. Christian
love is linked with humility and meekness
because it doesn’t insist on one’s personal
rights, privileges, and preferences. Christian
love is always oriented to serving others for
their sake, their welfare, and benefit.
The
reward of Christian love
The reward of Christian love is God himself –
who loves us generously, selflessly, and
whole-heartedly for our sake. That is why
Jesus went to the cross with joy rather than
sorrow – his joy was rooted in pleasing the
Father and in laying down his life out of
merciful love for us.
God loved us first and our
love for God is a response to his exceeding
kindness and mercy towards us. Our
love for others proceeds and flows from the love
of God – the love that has been poured into our
hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been
given to us (Romans 5:5). We imitate God when we
show love, mercy, kindness, and forgiveness for
others.
Some
signs of the lack of love
What are some of the tell-tale signs of lack of
love in Christian community?
- Holding on to hurts and bad feelings - such
as bitterness, resentment, grudges
- Critical and judgemental thoughts and speech
- Neglecting
or
refusing to ask for forgiveness or to receive
forgiveness
- Neglecting
or
breaking a commitment or promise made to our
brothers and sisters (especially
our commitment to meet together in share
groups and community meetings – we need to
apologize when we can’t make a commitment for
a good reason or ask forgiveness if we fail to
keep a promise or commitment out of
forgetfulness, etc.)
Overcoming
personal blind-spots to loving others
We all have blind-spots in our personal lives
and we need others to help us recognize and
overcome them. That is one key reason we need
each other in Christian community. Our brothers
and sisters in Christ can often see our
blind-spots better than we can by ourselves and
they can help us avoid hurting others because of
our blind-spots.
That is why we need to be humble and
willing to let our brothers and sisters show us
where we may be failing to express love,
patience, kindness, and meekness in our
relationships.
We need to patiently
listen and receive the input and correction our
brothers and sisters bring to us. How else can
we grow in love, righteousness, and holiness and
overcome our blind-spots unless we allow our
brothers and sisters to help us see them and
overcome them.
“Put
away bitterness and anger – be
tender-hearted”
Paul the Apostle tells us to “put away
bitterness, wrath, anger, and slander” so that
we can freely choose to “be kind to one another,
tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in
Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Scripture
repeatedly calls us to forgive one another.
Jesus asked his disciples, “How many times
should one forgive his brother? Seven times, no,
I say seventy times seven.” The
constant exhortation to forgive each other
suggests that we fail one another and let one
another down every day – and maybe several times
a day. But that must not stop us from promptly
forgiving each other from the heart.
If we
offend our brothers or sisters, we need to go
privately and directly to ask their forgiveness.
The longer we put off forgiving one another, the
easier it is for resentment and bad feelings to
settle in our hearts and minds. Forgiveness
breaks the chain of bitterness, anger,
resentment, and hurtful speech that hurts,
wounds, and separates us from one another in
loving-kindness and mercy. Forgiveness opens the
flood-gate of mercy and healing love.
In
every stage of life – we must learn to
grow in greater love
However old, experienced, or advanced we are in
age, we must never think we have attained
perfect love and maturity. In this life we never
stop growing in love, wisdom, holiness, and
Christian maturity. Every
stage of life – from infancy, childhood, young
adult, middle age, senior age, and advanced old
age –has its own unique opportunities and
challenges for overcoming weaknesses and sinful
tendencies, such as selfishness, pride, fear,
and lack of brotherly love.
Unfortunately many people
regress and fall back into selfish and immature
ways of behaving and living due to isolation,
neglect, sin, and worldliness. That is why a
community of faith, hope, and love is essential
if every member of Christ's body is to grow and
reach maturity in every stage of life - from
childhood to advance old age.
We
grow and mature together in a
community of faith and love
The Lord’s plan
for our personal growth in faith, hope, and love
and in full Christian maturity is the body of
Christ (Ephesians 4:13-16) – the community of
brothers and sisters who are committed to
helping one another grow as disciples of Jesus
Christ – from birth to adulthood and from
adulthood to advanced old age and to everlasting
glory with the crucified and risen Jesus Christ
who reigns for ever.
Let us be
grateful for the opportunities that God offers
us for growing together in Christian community
as a body of disciples who love each other as
the Lord Jesus has taught us.
[Don
Schwager is a member of The
Servants
of the Word, and author of the Daily
Scripture Readings and Meditations,
and the book, Training
In Excellence: How Godly Character
Forms Strong Men and Women and Strengthens
the Building of Communities for
Generations to Come.]
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