 October / November 2015 - Vol. 82  When Less Is More . by Dave Quintana True confessions. I recently turned fifty. I can
no longer pretend that I am prematurely gray. When
I wake up in the morning and something hurts, it
is now a good sign – I am still alive… My routine
in the morning often looks a little something like
this: Get up. Stretch out the joints. Head for a
run. Take time to pray. Board a plane. Get into
conversation with the person beside me. Tell them
I travel a lot in my work with young adults and
professionals. At this point, I can see them trying to place me
in their register: Who is this guy? We tend to
chat around the issue for a while before they take
the plunge, “So, what exactly is your work? Are
you a minister?” “Well”, I reply, “not exactly.”
As I share about my call from God and my desire to
live for Him with all of my life for the rest of
my life they ask, “Are you a priest?” “Well”, I
reply, “not exactly.” As I see them struggling to
construct a box to fit me in, I take the
opportunity to share with them something at the
core of my life. I am single, on purpose. I plan
to stay that way, for the Lord and for others.
Forever. Our conversation often takes a deeper
turn; sometimes I think I unsettle people, or
sometimes I think people find me unsettling…
In this article I would like to present the single life as something more, not less. I would like to present the positive choice to remain single as a “state in life” and a question for serious consideration. Of course, there is much discussion about the challenges of single Christians, but my conviction is that the Lord is renewing a call to intentional singleness in our day. In an age largely focused on sex, money, and power, I would argue that biblical celibacy has profound witnessing power. Celibacy, or intentional singleness, is a call
(or vocation) which the Lord wants to renew in our
day. If God’s plan for most people is marriage and
family life, and if that is a good thing (remember
Genesis 2:18 “it is not good for the man to be
alone”), then why might God want men or women to
live single? Firstly, let us note that in Matthew 19 and Luke 20, Jesus explicitly connects the single life to the Kingdom of Heaven. Celibacy will be part of the “new order of society,” the “new creation” he brings into this world. Secondly, for Jesus (and Paul), the call to remain single is fundamentally a discipleship issue. I do not see the disciple being called to leave behind “everything, but…” In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul encourages those who are single to seriously consider remaining that way, for the sake of “undivided devotion to the Lord.” This advice, though challenging, is good. When asked why I am single, I respond that it is for the Lord and for His kingdom – to be free and available for the love and service of God and others. I want to live a life of prayer and consecration to the Lord. While a married man can live this type of life (and there are stellar examples of those who do and did), the single man has a few advantages. In the Old Testament the Levites were not given any portion of the promised land. It was the Lord himself who was to be their portion. So I believe that in a special way, those living single for the Lord can have a particular relationship with Him, and be satisfied with the Lord himself as their portion (see Psalm 16). This is the spirit of Theresa of Avila, a single consecrated woman in the 16th century who said, “Solo Dios basta (God alone is enough).”  Dave Quintana (left) in the slums of Manila As well as living for God, remaining single helps me to live my life for others. I have a freedom to love others, generously and without partiality. As a single man, I am free to be “a member of every family, yet belonging to none.” I don’t need to focus my affections on one woman, or one set of young people (my own children). I can love generously and impartially. This was first made real to me as I met men from the Servants of the Word brotherhood while I was at University. Living single for the Lord, following a rule of life and rhythm of prayer, doing campus outreach from their “urban monasteries” I found the life of these men both “the furthest thing from my mind” and “intriguingly attractive.” I tried it on, and it fit. Once people have got over the initial shock, a
question which arises with amazing frequency is,
“How do I know if it’s my call?” Firstly, let me
say a few things about this (or any) call. It is
not easy and it takes some serious discerning over
a long period of time. It is not as simple as a
lightning bolt from heaven or the lack of sexual
desire! A true call tends to be a combination of factors, all of which grow over time. A sense of “hearing” from God that this is a good and right way for you to respond to the Lord as His disciple. The conviction that comes from the Bible that this is a way God invites people to live for Him. The confirmation and affirmation of those who know you and your character, and the grace and blessing that come to all who live in the way that God has designed them. Of course, one of the great advantages of the single life is that one can “try it on for size.” This is a little harder to do with marriage… Over the years I have worked with many young
people to help them discern whether they might
best live single or married for the Lord. Whoever
the person, whatever their background, here are my
key recommendations for those who want to
seriously consider the single life.
As a young man I had many dreams and aspirations
for my life which I now find hard to reconcile
with how I live today. I can honestly say,
however, that none of my dreams featured the peace
and contentment, beauty and gratitude I experience
in the life of single devotion to God that He has
called me to live and that I have chosen. The words of Psalm 16:5-6 have become a living
reality for me, “You have assigned me my portion
and my cup… The boundary lines have fallen for me
in pleasant places…” To say that it has always been easy and fun would of course be untrue, but the experience of Paul in Philippians 3:8 rings true with me, “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…” I have learned the secret of godliness with contentment. So for me, less is more. Some recommended reading:
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