May 2012 - Vol. 60

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Journey of Self-discovery in Christ
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by Glenna Schleusner

Before coming to Detroit to do a Kairos Gap year of service, I don’t think I was aware of  just how little I trusted my own instincts and abilities. I knew I was afraid of failure, because I was afraid of making mistakes and making people angry with me, but I hadn’t realized how that had led me to assume that everyone else knows better than me.

Since my arrival in Detroit and the beginning of my service with YouthWorks-Detroit, God has been teaching me that he didn’t make a mistake with me. He’s equipped me with gifts and abilities, and when I’m asked to step out of my comfort zone, he’s right beside me taking that step with me.

It’s been a journey of small steps: planning Bezalel Project lessons –  first with a friend and now more by myself – for our after school program for elementary school age youth ; teaching at Bezalel; giving a talk at a retreat for the Cornerstone School kids; and writing and giving a four to five minute speech in Kairos Gap training (okay, maybe that one wasn’t a small step). Even things like cooking a meal once a week and learning to drive a stick-shift car have been used by God to teach me confidence.

It sounds horribly cheesy to say that so far my Kairos Gap year has been a journey of self-discovery, but in some ways that’s the truth. Only it’s not so much a journey of self-discovery as it is a journey of discovering myself in Christ.

Every time I’ve reached out to God, afraid of whatever task I’ve been given, he’s been there to give me strength and courage. And that’s where my new confidence really comes from; not just a realization that I have more gifts and better instincts than I thought, but that the God who gave me those gifts and instincts is there to help me use them.

I know there’s still a lot of spiritual growth ahead for me. One of the other things God’s done this year is show me more of my rough, unpolished edges. Instead of being afraid of the challenges ahead, though, I can welcome them with confidence, knowing that I’m not alone, that Jesus is with me every step of the way.

[Glenna Schleusner is from Lansing, Michigan, USA and a member of the Work of Christ Community in Lansing.]

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